hey kids

No, i haven't abandoned this. I've just had nothing to say at all. I'm not an verbose person at the best of times, and my mind has been dead with the physicality of it all over the past year. Frankly I'm sick of it but that's not the point of this post.

The real point was to all my two readers I thought of an experiment today which everybody can try.

We are governed by words. You're reading this in words; the words are translated to abstract concepts you have learnt to associate them with. This limits our viewpoint to the concepts that words provide us, like presets on an analog synth. So vocabulary is very important; you don't want to make techno with only a bassline. You want lots of crazy pads and leads and effects to spice it up, and communicate what you're trying to say more effectively.

Still, you are limited. So I propose you kill the presets by trying to convey all your verbose thoughts into the abstract concepts they are derived from. Think in those concepts, not in the words. Try to hold your thoughts without any internal dialogue at all - just pure meaning and expression. Obviously this is difficult, as it's a habit breaking sort of thing. So I will try it, and I will see if I come to any success. That's all I have to say, I don't know.

Comprehension

I hang around a lucid dreaming forum; in it is a lot of mystic gibberish. Thus it has given rise to a thought.

To understand something, you must know all that is behind it; consequently, to understand a person completely, you must know all that is behind them, in their experiences and previous views. Obviously the only person you can do this with is yourself, and even then it's probably impossible; loss of memories is needed, but some things will be lost forever.

So there is the reason why representation of the people often fails; the people representing obviously do not have the same experiences as those represented. You probably know this; it wasn't my original point.

The original point was about the words you might write when you are on drugs. They may seem quite an insight at the time, but come sobriety and they're just nonsense. This is because drugs dramatically shift your viewpoint and view on experiences; without this new view, the insights you have had will lack context.

Strangeling

I am currently spinning DJ Shadow's Entroducing. It's better than I initially gave it credit for.

Recently, a thing has been happening which I don't really understand. I have been seeing animals everywhere - cats, dogs, birds - but when I turn to look they're actually a bucket, or a post. It has been happening too often, and I wonder why. Perhaps it is that syndrome where you make a repeated mistake; I know it has happened before with me, as I always tend to say right when I mean left. But I don't know.

Take heed of these street animals; maybe they're telling me something.

Pricelessness? HA.

I am riding again; I see an anti-abortion poster. Someone has torn part of it down and drawn a big red cross over it. But I can still read part of the website address - it has the word "Priceless" in it. Which gets me thinking; would they really consider it a priceless thing if the right price DID come along?

If someone was, by their protesting, opinion or somesuch, stopping one single abortion, how much do you think they could be bought off for?

Take $100,000.

For a goodly number of people that might do it; concerns over their money in future would be soothed. It's one abortion, they can let it go when thousands happen each day even with their efforts. The money could probably be partly used to help their protesting in the future.

But for more fanatical people, that might not be enough. They'd let it stand, possibly to "resist temptation" in the moral code they have. So since we're hypothetical, let's go a lot higher.

$1 million? Probably still wouldn't get quite a few takers.

$10 million? Hmm...

$100 million? I think most opinions would sway by now; but I'm slightly pro-abortion so I don't know that for sure. I think for $100 million you could persuade nearly people to look the other way on one abortion; hardly matters after all. If you're anti-abortion, and disagree with this, feel free to post it; but please consider on whether you would be persuaded if it happened to you. Don't lie to yourself.


All this bargaining talk led me to think of devil's bargains; selling your soul and whatnot. While most people reading this probably wouldn't sell their soul at any price, there's the interesting matter of a different bargain.

Assume the devil, or some other entity if you're an militant atheist, can offer you anything at all in exchange for bending some of your priceless morals; and is good at showcasing it to you too. Consider the thing you want most, your deepest darkest fetish or desire; in sexuality or spaceships or shape shifting or SOMETHING. How many of your morals do you think stand up? Killing someone you know probably stands; killing or torturing someone you don't? Hmm. I can't think on what issues people are fanatical right now (it's a bit late), so can you mention some?

Point no. 12

I was riding in the city to get some crickets, and it struck me how damn close we live to death now. Half a metre, two or three seconds; and BAM, you could be run down. Death has always been close throughout history - a few meals lost can mean an end - but we take it for granted nowadays that we'll be okay with new healthcare and technology, while completing ignoring that we've shaved the line closer than ever before.

But if that's not a reason to feel alive then I don't know what is.

In lieu of something proper

Some random shit I found on songmeanings.net, about the song One Of These Days by Pink Floyd.

I don't know what this song means, but I know what this song means TO ME.

Children often have crying in the night or have sleep terrors (night terrors) or nightmares. Many attempts have been tried to find the cause of them, but the mystery is never solved.

Changing the subject, I often had same nightmares when getting a fever in childhood (before I listen to Pink Floyd). I was a globe floating in dark space and was run after in always another big globe. The periphery was like weird photomicrograph. Because it looks as if I am going to be swallowed in a globe momentarily, I escaped desperately having difficulty in breathing on account of wheezing. Many people said they have same experience. I and they said unanimously that since we grew up to be a man we got never to have a nightmare somehow. That is an oppressive feeling as if being suffocated or being sucked in to a tunnel. I set up a hypothesis that it is a prenatal memory, birth trauma.

Don't you have such experience? That nightmare's atmosphere was exactly like _One of These Days_. The big globe shouted while closing in on me: "One Of These Days, I'm going to crush you as flat as a pancake!" I believe that is why Songmeaningsuser wrote that "Lying in bed at night is probably the best way to listen to Pink Floyd". Also I believe that is why band used great pig's balloon. And so I feel it is the origin of Comfortably Numb. Sorry about my bad English....

Thoughtforms Part 1.1

Everything being real has an interesting side effect; it turns out that some "fictional" characters are in certain ways more real than you or me.

Take Harry Potter for instance. Now, to you of course you're a lot more real; there's a lot more detail in your life. You read, you write, you go to the bathroom properly instead of just fighting trolls in there. But take a thousand rabid Harry Potter fans on the other side of the world. Actually, make that ten thousand; I'm sure there's at least that many, and probably a lot more. That's probably more than all the people you know, and that know you as real. If you're a famous celebrity disregard that, but otherwise it's fair. Now, Harry Potter is a heck of a lot more real to them than you are. They have no conception of your life, and plenty of his. So it would not be unfair to say that he is much more real to them than you are.

You can apply this further; even people who aren't rabid Harry Potter fans are likely to have heard of him, and thus he's still more real to them than you are.

Now, for the flaws in that.

• Reality is not a thing based on how famous you are. I know I exist, and Harry Potter doesn't.

Well, you always know you exist. But if you don't know of someone or something they do not actually exist in your worldsphere; and that's the only one we have, so it might as well be for all reality as applied to us.

• But Harry Potter has no self-awareness!

If we are in some sort of story, then perhaps it just picks some details and leaves the rest of the living to us. I often think that I might be a bit character in some teenager's story, and I wonder if my part has happened yet, and who it's happening to.